Texas Chainsaw Mascara (cesare_bats) wrote,
Texas Chainsaw Mascara
cesare_bats

  • Music:
This might have been written somewhere in the bible, but I am going to be a Dad. Not just a Dad, but a cool Dadio yo.

This is how I found out:

I was drinking. No it was only wine and you know how wine turns me into a love machine. Anyways I was waiting for Laurie to get home and I was looking for love in all the wrong places. She arrived and said there was a present for me. Oh boy I loves me some presents! The Lowrider opened a shopping bag. It was small and I was praying it was a "sexual aid" as it turn out it was a newborn onsie. On it was Johnny Cash "Cry Cry Cry". My first thought was, Oh great now we are dressing the cat. No I was wrong. Laurie started crying and somehow got out "I think I'm pregnant"

Tasha came over with the test. One that didn't require fire and a lake. It was positive. The following morning was positive, and the one the following night was positive. This was on Saturday. God damn Atlanta was 3 hours ahead and no answer from Courtney.

Just so you ladies know. I'm fertile like a turtle and ready to party. My services are cheap as long as you take me to the movies first.

Holy cow can you believe it?
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