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Texas Chainsaw Mascara

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[22 Mar 2006|08:17pm]
This might have been written somewhere in the bible, but I am going to be a Dad. Not just a Dad, but a cool Dadio yo.

This is how I found out:

I was drinking. No it was only wine and you know how wine turns me into a love machine. Anyways I was waiting for Laurie to get home and I was looking for love in all the wrong places. She arrived and said there was a present for me. Oh boy I loves me some presents! The Lowrider opened a shopping bag. It was small and I was praying it was a "sexual aid" as it turn out it was a newborn onsie. On it was Johnny Cash "Cry Cry Cry". My first thought was, Oh great now we are dressing the cat. No I was wrong. Laurie started crying and somehow got out "I think I'm pregnant"

Tasha came over with the test. One that didn't require fire and a lake. It was positive. The following morning was positive, and the one the following night was positive. This was on Saturday. God damn Atlanta was 3 hours ahead and no answer from Courtney.

Just so you ladies know. I'm fertile like a turtle and ready to party. My services are cheap as long as you take me to the movies first.

Holy cow can you believe it?
43 ♥ + Kiss me!

[25 Feb 2006|11:09am]
I had the best day Friday. Yesterday I went under the sea.

I fought an epic battle between good and evil. Man vs Tentacle. Me against the thing responsible for iamsquid's misery. The great puss puss.

4 ♥ + Kiss me!

[23 Feb 2006|05:36pm]
I got a new mad mad mad hair-do today. The idea was Peter Murphy circa Holy Smoke. What do you think?

You dig.
29 ♥ + Kiss me!

[18 Feb 2006|07:34pm]
Myspace would rock so much harder if someone would post Wesley Willis's Girls on Film. McDonalds is a place to rock.
Kiss me!

[12 Feb 2006|06:27pm]
So the Vice President shot one of his hunting buddies today. Just another reason not to hunt or vote republican. I'll have to wait until we find out if the victim makes it or not. If he does let the mockery begin!
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!

FYI: I am wearing Penguin pajamas and watching March of the Penguins. It's just soooo heart warming I cry. Really I do.
11 ♥ + Kiss me!

[10 Feb 2006|04:21pm]
[ mood | cold ]

It was a sunny day and I have been seriously geeking on Twin Peaks since watching the first season on DVD. I wanted pictures for creepycourtney and the weather was perfect.

Here is Mount Rainer on the way home.

The Salish Lodge, but on the show it was called The Great Northern

and here are the falls.. I wish you could see it. These pictures just do not cover how beautiful it is.

9 ♥ + Kiss me!

[06 Feb 2006|08:51pm]

I don't know how many bottles of beer
I have consumed while waiting for things
to get better
I dont know how much wine and whisky
and beer
mostly beer
I have consumed after
splits with women-
waiting for the phone to ring
waiting for the sound of footsteps,
and the phone to ring
waiting for the sounds of footsteps,
and the phone never rings
until much later
and the footsteps never arrive
until much later
when my stomach is coming up
out of my mouth
they arrive as fresh as spring flowers:
"what the hell have you done to yourself?
it will be 3 days before you can fuck me!"

the female is durable
she lives seven and one half years longer
than the male, and she drinks very little beer
because she knows its bad for the figure.

while we are going mad
they are out
dancing and laughing
with horney cowboys.

well, there's beer
sacks and sacks of empty beer bottles
and when you pick one up
the bottle fall through the wet bottom
of the paper sack
spilling gray wet ash
and stale beer,
or the sacks fall over at 4 a.m.
in the morning
making the only sound in your life.

rivers and seas of beer
the radio singing love songs
as the phone remains silent
and the walls stand
straight up and down
and beer is all there is.

6 ♥ + Kiss me!

bite the bullet baaaaayyyybeeee [02 Feb 2006|10:05am]
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just...let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee.

I just finished watching season one. Oh when oh when will season two be on DVD? I knew I should have paced myself with the first season.

I'm sick. I need a tissue. I need a nap. I need Amanda to hug and kiss. No. What I need is to lay off this Sudafed. Did you know they check ID and write down your driver's license number now? Makes me feel like a crook for having a cold. So much for my meth lab. They're on to me.
9 ♥ + Kiss me!

[21 Jan 2006|09:30pm]
Don't think any less of me if it's so, but do you think I completely insane for loving that show Cheaters? I really like it when it's the guy suspecting the gal. I get a kick out of it. The show presents itself to be a moral testament and a public service, but I think it's all trash. I love trash tv. I know I probably should see someone about it. Maybe.
13 ♥ + Kiss me!

[16 Jan 2006|05:25pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

How many times have you said to yourself, I really want get Michael fucked up and take advantage of that hot, tender, pale bod of his? You wondered what to bring, right? Well wonder no more here is a list of acceptable vegan beers to bewitch me with. Yes creepycourt Rainer made the list.
Vegan beer!Collapse )

Rebecca found this pic of me she took at her mom's house. It pictures like this that make me want to fly to the store and pick up a box of that ole blue black. I'm resisting. It's a new process and I'm still in denial.

14 ♥ + Kiss me!

honky tonk women give me the honky tonk blues [23 Dec 2005|08:24pm]
[ mood | silly ]

Please don't leave me alone with rum and the web cam. I tend strip I'm just following ancient history, show off naked bats and the big guns. Oh yeah brother you don't want to mess with this.
I call this Bettie Beater

5 ♥ + Kiss me!

When I was arrested I was dressed in black [23 Dec 2005|06:47pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

Christmas sweet christmas you drive me to drinking. I was able to get to zoo lights this year. What so hot about zoo lights you ask? Well when it gets all cold you head straight to the sharks. The aquarium is always having a heatwave a tropical heatwave. I think these are lemon sharks.

now dance

9 ♥ + Kiss me!

Voice Post: 27 seconds to heaven [23 Dec 2005|04:32pm]
43K 0:27
(no transcription available)
Kiss me!

[17 Dec 2005|10:04pm]
Holy Crap what a good day to check the mail. Inside I found two holiday cards from members of the batgang girls deathsex9 & lapetiteflower. Joy!

I saw a trailer for movie that I would claw my own eyes out to see. Well maybe not, but still... It's called New York Doll. Check out cursor on the site. Several minutes wasted away today playing with it.

Arthur KaneCollapse )

It's rather sad, but I never shyed away from crying at movies.
3 ♥ + Kiss me!

[10 Dec 2005|10:23pm]
[ mood | tootsie bootsie ]

Today was a day for hi-jinx on the low sea. _fancypony felt my love with the sweet serenade of Poison lyrics. Meanwhile I took this photo of myself in front of bettie_x star gazers. I call this piece I'm, like,.... angry at art. Enjoy.

14 ♥ + Kiss me!

[02 Dec 2005|08:25pm]

Is this thing on?

I hope you have missed me as much as I missed you.
10 ♥ + Kiss me!

[23 Oct 2005|09:30am]
Random pictures of my living room taken from the couchCollapse )
13 ♥ + Kiss me!

[23 Oct 2005|09:25am]
[ mood | amused ]

21K 0:13
(no transcription available)

creepycourt loves it when I sing Van Halen to her.
6 ♥ + Kiss me!

[21 Oct 2005|06:38pm]
[ mood | Still spellbound ]

A band I like is playing at the Crocodile on Wednesday. They're called Low Skies. You can download free MP3s on their site, so check it out. I only mention it because I might want to go, get fucked up and do fucked up things.

Heater, Puddin, Squidney?

5 ♥ + Kiss me!

too much vodka and far too much George Michael [20 Oct 2005|07:19pm]
57K 0:35
(no transcription available)

you tell me that you love me but you still say no.
15 ♥ + Kiss me!

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